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Wow, so yesterday, for a switch, was fine until I got out of work. Then I got home and it started going to shit. So, depression, so, late baseball roundup yet again.

I missed the Red Sox game entirely because of work. I am most emphatically not sad about this. Missing a 9-1 loss can only be a good thing. Our bullpen strikes again, y'all. How we have, like, the shittiest bullpen in baseball and are still first in our division is way the fuck beyond me. The rest of the team must just be that good.

I also missed the Tigers game. I had been looking forward to it all day, since it was the only one of my teams' games that was not a day game. But, it was blacked out on MLBTV, I think because ESPN had the rights to it. But did it air anywhere here? NO. NO IT DID NOT. Fucking awesome.

Things I missed:

* Pudge finally hitting a homerun.
* Dmitri finally hitting a homerun.
* Shelty hitting yet another homerun.
* THE FARNS pitching a perfect eighth.
* Troy Percival blowing the save with a two-run homer, thus allowing the Devil Rays to win it 5-4.

OH MY GOD. heckraiser87 was kindly giving me a blow-by-blow of the ninth over AIM, and when she told me that, I said, "YOU ARE MAKING THAT UP." She wasn't.



Dear Troy Percival,

WE JUST GOT THE FUCK RID OF KEITH FOULKE, OKAY? I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER CLOSER RUNNING AROUND GIVING AWAY GAMES, OKAY? HAVE SOME FUCKING CONSIDERATION.

*snarlhissslaver*,
Cathryn

PS: By the way, Percy, THOSE WERE THE FUCKING DEVIL RAYS. HOW DO YOU LOSE IN THE NINTH TO THE FUCKING DEVIL RAYS?



Yeah, he did that last week too. Except I think it was like a three-run homer or something else equally cute. If he serves up a Foulkie Special (which consists of giving up the tying run and then a grand slam), I am FLYING TO DETROIT and HOLDING HIM DOWN so the rest of the team can KICK HIS ASS.

Still happy we have Polanco, but it looks like my reservations about getting rid of Ugie so quickly were not without merit.

So maybe not such a shame that I missed that game, too. Even if I did miss THE FARNS.

Moving on, the Yankees also lost, 8-7. The good news: This means they do not gain a game on us in the standings. The bad news: I still want the Indians to lose every goddamn game they play for the rest of the season, and the Yankees did not help with that.

And, to end on an extremely high note: THE ASTROS ARE AT .500!! Oswalt continued to do his stud thing yesterday, we won 4-2, and oh my god I really thought they'd never make it to .500. I thought it was a pipe dream. I thought they'd be lucky if they got close enough to see .500 on a clear day.

Whoa, All Star break starts tomorrow. That snuck up pretty quick.

(no subject)

Funny, I thought I clicked a link at an Astros blog.

Seriously, though, this is a cool article about how Boston is the best baseball city in the league. It's written by an outsider and it's still a better Red Sox article than anything I've seen from our Knights of the Keyboard this season. I wonder if I can get a subscription to the Houston Chronicle? (Haha, that would be awesome. "I'm sorry, you want your paper delivered where?" "Um . . . Portland, Maine? Is that gonna be a problem?")

(no subject)

AHAHA the Farns is a badass.

Yesterday, when Gomes hit that two run homer off Percival, he took a nice little stroll down the first base line before finally breaking into a run, and he chucked his helmet coming into home. That kinda thing would make Manny go, "Dude, ease off with the showboating."

So today, there was a question of whether or not Gomes would get hit with a pitch in retaliation. I figured that if he did get hit, it would be late in the game after what happened with Nate.

He didn't get hit. I'm thinking maybe Tram told them specifically not to hit him, what with it being the last game before the break and all that. If he did, he probably repeated it for the Farns's benefit, because after getting Gomes out, the Farns gave him a good hard staredown all the way to the dugout. I bet he wanted to hit Gomes so bad. Naturally, I did not see it, because MLBTV chose that exact moment to suck at life, but I could still hear the commentary and I am assured by Rod and Mario that the Farns is scary and Gomes probably hit the dugout feeling like he'd narrowly escaped disaster. This is probably true, because you just don't fuck with the Farns. Tomorrow when the archive is up, I am so watching that bit. Possibly more than once.

Also, the Tigers won 9-4, with all four D-Rays runs coming off Mike Maroth, and our bullpen once again being nails. God, I love the Tigers bullpen. Having a bullpen I can trust is so refreshing. On the offensive six of things, Dmitri got a two run homer and Magglio got a squillion RBI. Okay, three. Also I have decided that he is cute. Carlos Guillen had a 4-for-4 day, and Nook got a triple and ran so fast that I think he may have broken the sound barriers. Rod sure seemed to think so.

There was a pretty scary moment when Polanco, running to first, suddenly toppled over and writhed in serious agony. The kind of agony where, when the trainers were checking his leg, once or twice his hands came up to push theirs away when they got close to the spot, and I think we all know what that's like. He eventually walked off the field under his own power, though, and they're telling us it's a strained hamstring tendon and he's day-to-day. Glad he saved it for the game before the All-Star break; now he gets three days to heal.

The Astros also won, which puts them OVER .500 for the first time since mid-April. When they were 5-4. GO ASTROS. That is an awesome way to kick off the All-Star break. Morgan Ensberg reminded us all that he totally does not deserve to be an All-Star by getting a two-run homer. Not that I'm going to be bitter about that for the rest of the season or anything. Also, that homer came during the sixth inning, which began with the Padres being up 5-1 and ended with a 5-5 tie. The game stayed tied until the bottom of the eighth, and the scoring run? Morgan Ensberg, and I am not even making that up. Who do I get to poke with a sharp stick for his not getting into the ASG at ALL? Not even as a replacement? Not even warranting a spot on the ballot for the Final Vote? RAR. Anyway, final score 6-5, and Roger Clemens and Roy Oswalt are going to the ASG, so that's nice.

In AL East news, the Red Sox continue to manage to be first in the division and still irritate its fanbase to death by losing 4-1. Why are we so pissed off at our team for being in first place? I don't know, but we are. Probably because in theory they are good enough to be up by ten games instead of two and a half. But David Ortiz stole a base, which was hilarious.

The Yankees won 9-4 (heeeey, that score sounds familiar), which again is fine because Indians = hate.

So off to the All Star break we go. I doubt I'll watch any of the fun, because I care only as far as Morgan Ensberg goes, and also the token Tiger should totally have been Bondo, Inge, or the Farns instead of Pudge. Other than that, whatever.

(no subject)

In case anyone on my friends list cares but did not know: the new season of Surreal Life starts in a couple of minutes on VH1. I love SL, I watched both seasons on the WB and it was so much fun, and I am extra excited about this one because candid Jose "Crazy Motherfucker" Canseco! Woo!

(no subject)

Surreal Life discussion time!



( Spoilers below! Who'd've thought that Pronson Pinchot would make Jose Canseco look balanced and self-aware? )

I love Surreal Life anyway; I adored the first two seasons on the WB, and was sad when it moved to VH1 and I couldn't watch it anymore. I'm not sure how much the show has evolved between then and now, but I do think that this is the most dysfunctional cast I've seen yet. The first two were fairly well-mixed, with some crazies and some assholes and some people who'd managed to remain human. (Did you know that Ron Jeremy is incredibly down to earth?) This like if the entire first season had been Corey Feldman, with maybe Jerri Manthey also thrown in for a bit of relatively normal perspective. In the first two seasons, and from the one VH1 ep I saw, the casts all ended up bonding during the shooting and were all sad to leave at the end. I'm wondering if these people are going to able to do that.

I am also looking forward to seeing which incredibly random friendships form. I'm not sure they'll be able to top the bizarreness of Ron Jeremy and Tammy Faye Messner becoming buddies in the second season, though.