(no subject)

I made an entry to customers_suck. Here it is.

Dear Sir,

Why, yes, I am in the middle of a transaction. Yes, I know she is taking her time picking out her lottery tickets, but she is a regular with whom I have a friendly rapport, so I'm cutting her some slack. You may wait.

What's that? You would like to be given priority? Well, you only have a quart of milk, and I know Adrienne is nice enough to let you get rung up while she decides - wait, what? The reason you're in such a hurry is because you are doubleparked?

Sorry, sir, but your illegal parking is not my problem. And just because you think it is, be assured that I will allow Adrienne to take her time, and then I will take my time while ringing you up. I don't care that you broke the law, but I do care that you thought your illegal activities made you special.

Hope you got a ticket,
Your Cashier


Dear Madam,

I know you've bought lottery tickets from me before. I remember you because last time you bitched and moaned about our not having the new bingo ticket out yet (because our manager had five hundred other things to do that were rather more important that putting out new tickets two seconds after the shipment finally arrived).

But guess what? Your remark, "I hope you gave me winners this time"? Not funny, not cute, not original. It wasn't funny the first time I heard it, it wasn't funny the fiftieth time I heard it, and it certainly isn't funny on the 10,967th repetition. My failure to pretend that you are in any way amusing was not your cue to lecture me on customer service. You try being cut down to three days a week, worrying about your bills, and dealing with jackasses and morons for the past seven hours, and let's see how much you feel like cracking a fake smile.

Please find some real jokes,
Your Cashier

PS: No, I do not get paid enough for this.

(no subject)

WTF WTF WTF.

Nate Robertson just got ejected after the FIRST FUCKING PITCH.

See, Kazmit hit Polanco on his first pitch. And Nate hit their lead-off guy on his first pitch. So the home ump McClelland, whose name I may not be spelling correctly and does not deserve it anyway, chucked him out.

BULLSHIT. You let that shit PLAY OUT, okay? Maybe it was a purpose pitch, amybe it wasn't, but see where it goes, and do NOT eject a guy on the FIRST GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PITCH. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS MY GUY. YOU ASSHOLE.

OH AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HIT THE GUY IT JUST KIND OF WENT NEAR HIM GODDAMMIT.

*stomps around in rage that cannot be sufficiently expressed by caps, bolds, or italics*

I HOPE THEY HIT EVERY GODDAMN DEVIL RAY AT LEAST ONCE I HATE THEM.

(no subject)

This time yesterday, I felt sorry for the Devil Rays. What a pathetic little team, I thought, with their insane manager who hates them and their stadium no one comes to and their general suckitude. The poor Devil Rays, they are teh sad.

Yeah, fuck that. That's over. I hate those fuckers.

Technically, I suppose that's not fair. Technically, I should hate Tim McClelland, the douchebag at homeplate. But since when am I being rational over here? I hate the Devil Rays. I still want them to beat the Yankees, because that's funny, but other than that they can lose every goddamn game and I will smirk when I look at the standings.

So after McClelland failed to do anything after Kazmir hit Polanco with his first pitch, including issuing a warning of any kind, then turned right around and ejected Nate (who has had shitty luck, by the way; last time he lost a complete game, and now this?) for throwing behind with his first pitch but never actually hitting the guy, he made a bunch of other BS calls. I don't recall the smaller ones, aside from being all, "THAT was a BALL!" at one point, but the biggest load of utter bullshit? In the third inning, Kazmir - stop me if this doesn't sound familiar - threw behind Vance Wilson. And, even though McClelland did get around to issuing a warning in the second, and even though Kazmir threw behind Vance Wilson, KAZMIR WAS NOT EJECTED. BULL. FUCKING. SHIT.

But it will not do to just hate an ump, for they do not win or lose. Thus, I hate the Devil Rays. I have a history to draw back on, too, with the Red Sox brawl and all.

But, HA, the Tigers responded beautifully. Franklyn German and Fernando Rodney, who probably expected to spend most of the game dicking around in the bullpen, were put in for three innings apiece and rose to the occasion by not allowing the Devil Rays to score for six innings. Doug Creek was less awesome in his two and two-thirds, giving up three runs, but the offense made damn sure that wasn't a problem. They were already up 4-0 when Nate was ejected, and they got three more runs. Jamie Walker came in to get the last out, and THAT is how the Tigers do it when you try to fuck them over. A little thing like losing their starting pitcher one pitch into the game isn't gonna slow them down one bit.

Nice try, though, McClelland. What, did tigers eat your mom or something? Asshole.

God, I love my Tigers.

Due to all that excitement, I barely even remembered there was a Red Sox game at all, and turned the TV on for five-second bursts every now and then to check the score. So, I got nothin', and I'm getting near bedtime, so I'll forgo the looking stuff up tonight. I know that they won 7-2, which is excellent.

Astros currently in the bottom of the ninth, tied at two. Please not to drop back down to three games under, guys? Thanks. Oh, and that would be no-decision number 842 for Clemens this season.

Yankees won 5-4, but again, Indians, again, violent hate, so not too sad. Especially since the Red Sox win kept them at 3.5 games above the Yankees, while the O's dropped to 4.5 down. Good enough for me.

Oh, nice, the Astros scored in the bottom of the ninth to win 3-2. And who drove in the winning run? Yes. Morgan Ensberg. LOVE. Back up to one game under .500, with Roy Oswalt starting tomorrow.

Edited quite belatedly (like, two days later, as if anyone but myself will ever read this again) because Nate lost a complete game, not a shut-out. Although the way things have been going for him, I would not be surprised if that somehow happened next.