through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered . . .

MY BRAIN. Is a muddle. Here is what my day has contained.

* The Torchwood audio play. Yes, yes, I know I have very loudly quit Torchwood, but I have a weakness for audio stuff. And I knew it would be hilarious. And I was not wrong. I'm going to have to listen to it again soon. CANDYFLOSS.

* As per a deal I made with maggiesox, I am listening to Les Miserables in its entirety, start to finish, for the first time. Ever. I know quite a few of the songs, because we sang a medley in chorus when I was in eighth grade (mmm, uplifting) and I was still young enough then so that I now, eleven years later, still know every word. I even bought the Broadway soundtrack at that time, but being young and free of any sort of taste in music, I didn't really care much about any of the songs I didn't already know.

So. I mentioned that in Maggie's presence, and a deal was brokered: I would listen to Les Miz if she would finally listen to The Fix. I am holding up my end of the bargain, which is not exactly a chore, because I am of course enjoying it immensely.

And I just HAPPEN to have the recording with Philip Quast as Javert. Quast also plays my favorite character in The Fix, one Grahame Chandler. Total coincidence, really!

* And then there is the paper on Hamlet. We're reading Hamlet in my literary-analysis-or-whatever-the-hell-it's-called class, and had to do a "close reading" of a selection, which basically means "write at least three pages on ten to fifteen lines." I picked one of Claudius's, because I have a weakness for sympathetic villains. (See above in re: Grahame Chandler. Also, I bet we can all guess who is going to be my favorite Les Miz character.) (Incidentally, I believe Philip Quast could play an excellent Claudius. Grahame practically IS Claudius, just with polio and being in love with his nephew instead of his sister-in-law.) (See what I mean about my brain being a muddle?) Plus, it happens to contain one of my favorite selections in the play: "Do it, England/For like the Hectic in my Blood he rages/And thou must cure me." Grahame is so not the only one with a thing for his nephew.

(And yes, I managed three pages out of eleven lines effortlessly. I talk too much. If you had not noticed this, then hi, I'm Cathryn, nice to meet you.)

Also, somewhere in all that, during my play analysis class, was some brief discussion of Augustus Wilson's The Piano Lesson, which I saw last year for my Intro to Theatre class and you should totally go see it if there is a production in your area, because it's pretty awesome.

But anyway. Torchwood and Les Miz and Hamlet and too many parallels with The Fix in both casting and theme and if I DON'T have seriously strange dreams tonight, I will be very disappointed in my brain.

It is August twenty-first, and classes at USM start September second. I just finished registering and accumulating further debt in the name of education. How's that for last minute action?

I didn't entirely do it on purpose - today was the orientation. It started at wtf-thirty (look, eight-thirty is too EARLY for anything school-related that isn't a class, okay?), which is a bit earlier than I am accustomed to. How not to attend an orientation: on five hours' sleep (for the third day in a row) with no breakfast and a big coffee. It's time for me to face it. I'm twenty-five. Excessive sleep deprivation has ceased to be an interesting exercise in testing my limits. Now it just sucks.

But anyway! Classes. I'm so excited. I'd pretty much taken all the good classes at SMCC and I was getting bored there. (And my grades were showing it, oops.) I am not yet qualified for any of the really awesome classes available for English majors, but that's only a semester away. I just gotta take one more frigging class about how to analyze literature, which is something I do regularly for FUN so I think I'm all set there, and then I can start the cool stuff. Even so, though, I still get to take fun classes, like Acting for Non-Actors, Fiction - the Genre (which sounds like a low-rent sequel, but never mind), and another one I can't remember because my brain did not exist by the time I got to scheduling. The English department chair, who was there to advise on schedules, was really impressed that I'd finished mine more or less on my own. (Then he had to coach me on filling out a really basic form, because my blood sugar was in the basement and I'd kind of forgotten things like how to write words, but these things happen.) Three of my classes are the once-a-week ones, but that's what happens when you register less then two weeks before classes start. I'm just grateful I wasn't stuck with completely random shit that had nothing to do with anything.

By the way, I'm so happy I can officially say I'm majoring in English now. I can finally stop explaining about how I'm in Liberal Studies at the moment, because it's the closest to an English major that blah blah blah. ENGLISH. MAJOR. NOW QUALIFIED TO BE TOTALLY PRETENTIOUS WITH NO WARNING WHATSOEVER. FUCK YEAH.

So after that, I had food. I know you were worried. I had an egg salad wrap and overly sweet lemonade, which I guess were light enough to be acceptable after being hungry so long, because I didn't get sick. I really don't know why I wrote that last sentence. I'm still tired and probably not making with the sense in the traditional idea of the word. Anyway, I went to financial aid to borrow money, and the lady who helped me was awesome. She was really sarcastically perky and helpful and we both ended up laughing as I was leaving the office, whch is probably a nice change for someone who works in the financial aid department.

Then I got to go home, and technically I live within walking distance of campus, which is nice, but the walk home involves a hike up the steepest fucking hill in all of Maine, which is not so fun. And now I'm looking at the semester schedule, and check this out: We have Election Day off entirely! I have never heard of that before, but it is so awesome. It will give me time to do something to celebrate voting for Obama, instead of just trying to squeeze it into my day like I had to four years ago. (Well, every year, I haven't missed a year since I turned eighteen, but it's only my second Presidential Election Day.) So I'm excited about that, too.

So! Now all I have to do is figure out a decent work schedule and force myself to remember that just because I can designate a day or half-day available for work doesn't mean I should. I'm not in community college anymore. USM is going to be more work, and I'm putting myself deeper into debt than I might otherwise so I can AVOID having to work too much and be able to focus on classes. I even signed up for the mentor program. Gotta keep more organized and in touch.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

So on Wednesday I left my once-a-week Varieties of Non-Fiction class early due to still being sick and pushing myself a little too far a little too soon. And last night I get an e-mail from a classmate letting me know that the essay we have due - oh, I'm sorry, I mean the ESSAI, it is FRENCH, guys, I'm taking a class where I write ESSAIS and the instructor uses "intentionality" in an actual sentence in an unironic fashion, like, could I have FOUND a more pretentious class at SMCC, I think NOT - but anyway, my classmate kindly e-mails to let me know that the ESSAI is due on Monday. For a Wednesday class. Naturally. I appreciate this gesture because I was just going to ask her during our Monday class if we missed anything, so that would have gotten interesting in a hurry.

So we're supposed to e-mail the ESSAI to the instructor by nine tomorrow night, and the instructor herself (whose name I will not be using as I have seen a member of the flist get almost-screwed by vanity Googling, and my instructor - kinda strikes me as the type) e-mails to let me know that she requires the ESSAIS as Word doc attachments. So I tell her, hey, I have a Mac without virus protection that could potentially pass along something nice and lethal to your PC, so can I copy/paste into the body of the e-mail?

Her reply?

"My system will block any document without virus protection, so I guess you'll have to paste your essai into the email. I hope I can copy it into a Word document. We'll see."

You'll see? You'll see??? IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT CTRL+C FOLLOWED BY CTRL+V THAT ESCAPES YOU? IS THERE A NUANCE IN THERE THAT YOU ARE NOT GRASPING? HIGHLIGHT. COPY. SWITCH PROGRAMS. PASTE.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS. She does have very exacting requirements regarding length, but it's not like I don't HAVE a word processing program, and one that is highly superior to fucking Word at that. I would just like to avoid killing her computer! I'm so sorry my attempt at courtesy is such a pain in the ass! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go write an ESSAI instead of working on my Wellesley transfer application that I already lost a fucking week and a half on because of being sick because the ESSAI is due two days before the motherfucking class!

I'm so glad this class is only once a week. "Intentionality." Christ.

Something I Hate About Biology Class:

The diagrams never, EVER look anything like the photos or the specimens, making it impossible to label things with any confidence of being correct. I know, every specimen is a little different, yadda yadda, but a little resemblance would not hurt. Or, hey, how about using an actual photo for us to label?

Whatever. So much for the sheep's heart. Now I have to go label this thing that looks nothing like the frog I dissected last weekend. (PS, dissecting things is Something I Love About Biology Class. Just to be fair.)

Right. So.

I left my computer at Circuit City yesterday so they could do a diagnostic, but they're pretty sure they'll have to send it in for repairs. The guy said officially it would be three or four days before they could tell me for sure, but probably it would be sooner.

This sucks. I hate not having my computer. I do everything on my computer. I've got to get my Mac fixed. I need a backup, especially now that I'm in college. I'm not sure what my odds on getting an iBook G4 fixed for a non-astronomical rate are, butcha know what? Apple offers student discounts on new products. If I can qualify for a monthly payment plan, maybe a MacBook wouldn't be a bad option. Before I was in college, losing my computer temporarily was annoying and inconvenient. Now it's problematic.

I guess we'll see. Right now I'm annoyed that a difficult assignment for Sport Psychology (made difficult by the fact that I have no personal sports experience and am going to have to quiz someone, which will at least double the amount of time I'll have to spend on the assignment) is further complicated by having to wait until just before the class to type it up, not the mention the fact that I'm going to miss the Tigers/A's series. Life is rough. D:

Buffy: Was it sudden? Your mother?
Tara: No. Yes. It's always sudden.

I realized it's been a week since my last post, so I thought I'd post to let you all know that I'm still around and sane. I haven't collapsed into a grief-stricken catatonia or anything. I'm doing okay - lot going on to keep me busy, with the still newish job and all.

I saw my doctor last week to address some back problems I've had for years but haven't been too bad, until this job. The way I stand when I'm washing dishes or making pizza or a hundred other things is exactly the posture that makes it flare up, and it's aggravated so badly now that I have to stop working every now and then to bend over and try to stretch it out a little. He gave me some exercises to do to strengthen the muscles, so hopefully that will help.

We also discussed my ADD medication. I was taking Adderall, which has such a short life that I found myself occasionally taking a second dose to keep the effects through my nine-hour shifts. I have ADD, and the medication really helps to keep me focused. I thought about it and realized that even though I won't be working the long shifts during the semester, I'm going to have some long days on campus where a single dose just wouldn't cut it. I was thinking of perhaps altering my prescription to include a second smaller dose, but instead he put me on Adderall XR. It does what Adderall does, but it lasts hours longer, plus it doesn't hit my bloodstream like a quadruple espresso delivered by a Mack truck. (Seriously, that first hour or so after a dose? Exactly what you'd expect speed to be like. I do not miss it.) It's so much better than the regular Adderall. I'm really happy with it.

And then a few days later I got my hair cut into possibly the best cut I've ever had. It's just a simple chin-length layered bob, but it is insanely flattering and perfect for the type of hair I had. The stylist commented on how she didn't have to do any real styling because it fell right into place. Then I went home and dyed it auburn, which is also working really nicely. There will be photos when I can find the motivation to snap a million of them.

(Side note: I kept my hair black for about four years, from sixteen to twenty. No reason [read: it was not a wannabe goth phase] - I just liked it. Grandpa hated it. It wasn't natural. He always had something to say about it whenever he saw me, but I blew it off, because whatever, my hair. Once he even offered to give me a kelly green t-shirt of his if I would dye my hair that color. I suspect he'd like the auburn better, by which I mean he'd say, "At least it's not black. That looked awful." Thank goodness none of us grandkids ever had the urge to go pink or blue.)

Work is work. I like the job pretty well, but I think I'd fall asleep typing about it and you'd all skip reading it. Suffice it to say that I work with some great people, I get to work with food, and it beats the everloving hell out of my old job.

Classes start again on Monday. I am so excited. I've been looking forward to them since about two weeks after last semester ended, because it turns out that when I am learning voluntarily, I am a giant school geek. Plus, I have some cool classes. I'm taking Intro to Theater (which is an English credit, score), Sport Psychology (the entire reason I took Psych was because it was a prereq for this class), and Spanish II. I am also taking Biology to fulfill the science requirement, which bleah, I hated Bio in high school and needed three tries to pass it because my apathy ran deep, and I'm taking it on Saturdays in like three hour chunks plus labs so double bleah, but, since I go to a community college and they hire a lot of retired teachers and the like, the instructor is actually a teacher I had in high school! I liked him. All, um, two or three or eighteen times I had him until I finally passed a class to get the science credit. (Getting the science credits I needed to graduate high school was like pulling teeth. I was having problems with major burnout from then-undiagnosed ADD. I took math at the dummy level all three years I had to take it and was able to cruise through and get high enough grades to pass without a ton of effort, but the science classes needed more effort than I was willing/able to put into them.) Poor Mr Willink. I hope he didn't cry when he saw my name on the list. If nothing else, I will do my best in Biology because I owe him that much. He certainly put up with more than enough nonsense from me a few years ago.

I think that's about it, all the major stuff going on in the past week or next week. Also, I love Magglio Ordonez. You know, when Clemens was with the Astros, I was Rocket Poison. He lost every start that I watched, listened to, or thought about. I wonder if that still holds true.