remindmeofthe | (no subject)

I spent an hour in line getting textbooks today. No, not because of messy handling or hordes of students. Because the power went out and the computers were down for forty-five minutes. It was kind of fun, actually. After all the impatient grumblers split, the rest of us hung out and made jokes. Plus, the employees handed out Tootsie Pops. Free candy never goes amiss.

(On the other hand . . . HOW TO TELL YOU ARE AN ADULT: You eat a lollipop, and then wish you had your toothbrush because the sugar is coating your mouth, then realize five years ago you would have thought that was lame.)

In the alarming lulz department, Marco Scutaro has a death wish.

Marco Scutaro went for his MRI on Monday but declined to have the exam because he felt claustrophobic in the tube. He was in the lineup anyway and hopes to continue playing despite recent bouts with dizziness that might be linked to vertigo.

He spoke of continued "ringing in my ear" and expressed concerns about his brain. But he said, "I feel fine - I guess that stuff comes and goes," and he took the field as the starting shortstop.

If he experiences further dizziness, the A's might try an MRI again.

"One day, I hope the ringing will go away," said Scutaro, who went 0-for-6.

OH MY GOD. He is having DIZZINESS and RINGING IN HIS EARS but yeah, fuck the MRI. Dizziness and ringing, the shit comes and goes. And lord knows the decision not to have it checked out isn't a worryingly illogical and potentially harmful choice that could maybe be a symptom of something more severe. Marco, I really hope you don't have a stroke or anything.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, Scooter. Tell them you're claustrophobic, baby. Get an Open MRI. BUT GO, BEFORE I WRITE A LETTER TO MY NEW FRIEND STOMPER AND MAKE HIM STUFF YOUR ASS IN THAT TUBE.

I - can't even laugh at the Scutaro thing (but how I want to). Because it's the A's medical staff. And while it use to fill me with so many lolz, now it just makes me worry for the players' safety.

Also your Chavvy icon never ceases to crack me up. Did you cap that or something? Either it came from one of the A's commercials or some opportunistic photographer happened on Chavez as he realized the horror of his situation.

Yeah, no kidding. Why aren't they sitting on him and making him get the damn MRI?

I got the picture from, um, an A's photo community SHH DON'T TELL ANYONE I WAS BORED OKAY. Anyway, the icon made it totally worth it.

Yeah, no kidding. Why aren't they sitting on him and making him get the damn MRI?

Dude, it's the A's medical staff.

I got the picture from, um, an A's photo community SHH DON'T TELL ANYONE I WAS BORED OKAY. Anyway, the icon made it totally worth it.

~~Was it athleticsphotos?!~~

Total pro athlete logic. "I can stand up and walk around, so it's not serious. I R INVINCIBLE!"

So pro athletes are all teenagers, then?

That explains a lot, actually . . .

Teenagers, or an even younger mental age, yes. :)

I'm wondering if they can knock people out for MRIs, if they're seriously claustrophobic and need to have it done.

I don't know. I have seen a couple people mention "open MRIs," though, which I have not Googled due to being lazy, but it does make sense to have an option for people who can't deal with the enclosed space. It's not exactly uncommon, and an MRI isn't something that can be skipped or substituted for. Unless you play for the A's, apparently.

Ah, now you got me curious, so I had to look it up. There ARE open MRIs... apparently they're used both for people with claustrophobia, and (I hadn't thought of this) people who are too obese to fit in a normal enclosed MRI tube.

HILARIOUS GOOGLED FACT: The team physicians for the A's have an open MRI. THE PAGE ANNOUNCING THE WONDERS OF THEIR OPEN MRI ALSO STATES THAT THEY ARE THE TEAM DOCS FOR THE A'S (http://www.websterorthopedic.com/mri.html). Ha ha ha ha, Oakland FAIL of the highest order.

Oh thank god. Now, should I end up injured or ill in California, I know who to AVOID AT ALL COSTS. The hilarious Googled stupid, it buuuurns.

~~. . . Marco Scutaro is going to die, isn't he?~~

I would bet a lot of money that the docs would stick Scutaro in that open MRI if they were able to, but the team is probably not allowing it. This happens all the time. Sounds like they started an MRI or something and didn't end up finishing it 'cause Scutaro felt claustrophobic, but that means the team had to pay for it anyways. They probably said something along the lines of 'too bad, we're not paying for another one' and Scutaro shrugged and didn't push the issue or go get one on his own due to the aforementioned infantile athlete invincibility complex.

This is how baseball medicine works.

Argh. That is stupid. I think of Tedy Bruschi and worry. Because I am like that. I also picture bloody car wrecks when people are an hour late.

And don't you love how the A's as an organization could care less? "Sure, we'll put you in the lineup." Ugh.

Man, I hadn't even noticed that. I only got as far as thinking, "Shouldn't the medical crackmonkeys be trying to talk him into it? Oh, wait, they suck at their jobs. Never mind."

Yuck. It surprises me not a whit, though. It is so painfully clear that the organization doesn't give a flying fuck about its players. I think it's time for us to start getting organized and kidnapping our favorite A's to take them to teams where they do crazy things like look after their players.