(no subject)

A series of letters.



Dear Angels of Many Cities,

I am sure the Tigers will be thrilled to help you keep your division lead over Oakland. They're very thoughtful like that, you know.



Dear A's,

I suggest you start making sacrificial offerings to help the Tigers out if you wanna see first, because the Red Sox will be much more preoccupied with keeping their own lead.



Dear Braves,

I hate to impose, but if you could maybe like win a game tonight or something that would be pretty cool. You are in a position to help my Astros out a lot this month, what with playing just about every team in the wild card race except them, and if you could manage that I might have to reconsider hating you.



Dear Red Sox Nation,

I should have written this letter yesterday but never got around to it. Sorry about that. But, listen, next time the Red Sox have a little bad stretch, before you start weeping and wailing about how we suck and we're all going to die: please take a second to check out the Tigers, who are three for their last eighty bazillion, and shut it. First place is nothing to bitch about.



Dear Tigers, Red Sox, and Astros,

Last night was amazing. Let's do it again! Except, of course, for the parts where players' Achilles tendons are ruptured, or where players' mothers die. Those parts sucked a lot. I know that sounds flippant, but it's not. I am still sad for you two.



Dear Anyone Who Might be Wondering if I Forgot About Those Drabbles,

No, I haven't.