(no subject)

So the Yankees helped us out tonight by beating the Orioles, which was thoughtful of them. Since the Red Sox lost in a most ouchly fashion (7-0, nice show, guys, and I am so the only person on my friends list who loves Mark Bellhorn right now) (not that I have myself on my friends list), an Orioles loss kept our lead at 2.5 games. For matters of completeness, the final score on that was 6-4. So, ew, thanks, Yankees. Ugh. *showers* That series cannot be over soon enough, really, it's even worse than Red Sox/Tigers.

I would rather not talk about the Red Sox game. Except that I still love Mark Bellhorn. And I am in the long line of people waiting to give Trot a hug. *pets Trot*

I ended up watching most of the Astros game. It's been so long since I watched the Astros, it's embarrassing. It seems as though I ought to love them more than the Tigers, since I picked them as my NL team over a year and a half ago and just got into the Tigs this season, but that is just not the way it is. So, when it comes to organizing my MLBTV time, chances are I'm going to go with the Tigers. Maybe this is because I actually know other Tigers fans, but I don't know any Astros fans.

Anyway. The Tigers were off today, so Astros. They were at Coors Field - okay, random tangent, maybe I'm just all spoiled because as a Red Sox fan first I got all used to Fenway Park, but I freaking hate having stadiums named after businesses. It's so tacky. I'm sure it's a sponsorship thing and they helped pay for the stadiums and all that, but ew. I am not any more likely to drink Coors or Minute Maid or use whatever the hell service Comerica provides just because they have stadiums named after them. In fact, I am less likely to do any of these things. I hate it.

Damn, I'm rambly tonight. Anyway. ASTROS. GAME. REALLY.

It was pretty! =D The Astros won 11-5. Wandy Rodriguez pitched an astonishingly good game, giving up eight hits and two runs in six and two thirds innings. This is astonishing because a) love Wandy, really, but he is not awesome, and b) Coors Field is not so friendly to pitchers. So, good for him. <3 <3

On the offensive side of things, the Astros got eighteen hits, three of which were homers. YAY. I know, Coors, no oxygen, balls all over the place, but still. If that were the key, the Rockies would lead the league. One of those homers came from Raul Chavez, who hasn't had one in two years. Awww.

Also, Morgan Ensberg . . . uh, made an error that gave up two runs (heh, he and Bellhorn should get together for a couple beers tonight). But we still love him.

Confusingly, Roger Clemens was at the game. In case you are not up on the baseball diva dish: Clemens is far too special to travel on road trips. He flies out to his starts and then leaves again. When you are Roger Clemens, you can get away with that. So I do not understand why he was there when he doesn't start till tomorrow. If there was an explanation, I missed it. They did have a wicked cute quote from Wandy about learning from Clemens when a two-seamer is a good idea, though, so my brain is helpfully providing slashy possibilities.

That's about it. Oh, except that after waiting all season for Aaron Boone's first at bat at Fenway, I MISSED IT, because I chose today to go out and see Land of the Dead (discussion of which can wait until tomorrow, as I do not wish to contemplate the zombie movie too deeply before going to bed). Tell me: Did he get booed real good?

(no subject)

I will note, however, that the trailers included the Serenity trailer. I'm not a big Firefly geek, but I've seen it, I liked it, I somehow ended up with a copy of it for Christmas even though I didn't ask for it (how cool is that?), I do throw out the occasional "gorram," and I'm looking forward to the movie, so I got all excited. And then the lead actor in Land of the Dead, Simon Baker, looked juuuuuust enough like Nathan Fillion so that I kept thinking of him as Mal. (Best crossover EVAR, guys!) Shiny.

(no subject)

I HATE AARON BOONE HATE HATE HATE I THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE THERE I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO FENWAY AND BARF MY BIG DINNER ALL OVER HIM AND SINCE IT WAS PASTA SOY BEANS AND ASPARAGUS IT WOULD BE GREEN AND DISGUSTING.

*snarrrrrrrl*

You know what, I'm going anyway. Hope you like recycled asparagus, Boone.

(no subject)

Awwwww who was that feeding Manny applesauce? I couldn't quite make it out.

(no subject)

FUCKING A MORGAN ENSBERG.

Let me set the scene for you.

The Astros were ahead 1-0 until the fourth, when Clemens cracked and allowed a run.

In the fifth, it runs as follows:

* Willy Taveras gets a single.
* Craig Biggio hit by a pitch. (Again. He must have breached that HPB record by now, I'm going to have to go see if I can find that number.)
* Lance Berkman intentionally walked.

This makes sense, but this also loads the bases for guess who?

That's right.

Morgan Ensberg.

I, meanwhile, have been keeping casual track of the game on GameCast while I watch the Red Sox make things difficult for themselves. I glance over. I see the bases loaded. I see Morgan Ensberg up. "They loaded the bases for Morgan Ensberg?! Are they fucking retarded? Oh, I gotta watch this."

I pull up MLBTV just in time to catch the aftermath of MORGAN ENSBERG'S GRAND FUCKING SLAM.

THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT.

If you don't love Morgan Ensberg now, then I don't know what else to do.

That game's not over yet, and I have to go stand in line to filet Keith Foulke now, but that had to be shared.

(no subject)

Hey, Foulkie, Ensberg's grand slam was the ONLY grand slam I wanted to know ANYTHING ABOUT tonight. THANKS.

(no subject)

I give up. I absolutely give the fuck up.

I hold out hope for players who do poorly forever and ever. Okay? Long after everyone else is demanding a player's head on a platter, I am sitting there saying, "Give him time, he'll come around when we really need him." Sometimes, I am right - hi, Mark Bellhorn, sure am glad Terry ignored everyone else last postseason and kept you in.

It took me until, like, sometime last week to get frustrated enough with Alan Embree to start railing against him. And, even though his appearance makes my stomach tighten with dread every time, and I would not so much as blink if he were traded, I'm not ready to dump him entirely.

But Keith? Oh, Foulkie, I wanted so bad to hold on. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting for you to snap out of it, and once or twice you've made it look like the waiting was not in vain.

But I cannot forgive SEVEN MOTHERFUCKING RUNS, Keith Foulke. Oh, and Tom Caron has kindly informed me that your ERA is 6.03. I know two of those runners were inherited, but a run is a run.

I don't know, Keith. What the fuck? I'll always love you, but I just give up. I'd beg you to prove me wrong and teach me a good lesson about giving up on my boys, but I no longer believe that you will. I'm sorry.

(no subject)

I. I don't know. I just don't know. What a night.

We've covered the Red Sox. 12-8 loss, thanks to a combination of Keith Foulke and what I am assured was some shitty homeplate umpiring. I'm still developing my ability to call pitches, and I'm sure I've been impeded by crappy umpiring more than once.

On to the Tigers. Nate Robertson kicked some ass, delivered nine K's, Chris Spurling and Kyle Farnsworth had a 1-2-3 inning apiece, and that still wasn't enough. Final score: 2-1 White Sox. Jesus. And to think I've been telling people recently how much better our offense has gotten. PROVE IT.

Oh god. Astros. I don't know if I can do this one.

Okay. After I recovered sufficiently from the Red Sox game to, like, move, I went out and had a smoke. First, I checked the score on the Astros game. Still 5-1 in the eighth. Awesome, I thought, at least one of my teams isn't sucking at life tonight.

I came back. Checked the score. 6-5 Rockies in the ninth wtf.

Here is the play-by-play for the bottom of the eighth.

C Qualls relieved R Clemens.
D Ardoin singled to center.
B Hawpe hit for D Cortes.
B Hawpe popped out to shortstop.
C Sullivan singled to left, D Ardoin to second.
J Franco relieved C Qualls.
L Gonzalez hit for A Miles.
L Gonzalez grounded into fielder's choice to third, C Sullivan out at second, D Ardoin to third.
T Helton singled to right, D Ardoin scored, L Gonzalez to second.

Nice work so far by our relievers, yeah? BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

R Springer relieved J Franco.
P Wilson walked, L Gonzalez to third, T Helton to second.
G Atkins homered to left center, L Gonzalez, T Helton and P Wilson scored.
J Piedra popped out to shortstop

YES THAT'S RIGHT. The guy who closed the game for the Astros ALSO gave up a GAME WINNING GRAND SLAM. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN TWICE IN ONE NIGHT? Man, if Russ Springer mysteriously drops dead, I recommend checking his Gatorade bottle for cyanide and Rogers Clemens's fingerprints.

Final score: 6-5.

I suppose I should be happy that Farnsworth, who closed for the Tigers, managed not to give up a grand slam. That is a pretty fuckin' sad thing to be happy about.

Oh, and the stupid Yankees lost 5-4, and I can't even enjoy THAT because it means that the Orioles shrank our lead to 1.5 games. Fucking Yankees can't even lose right.