(no subject)

Those of you who use the radio as your alarm in the morning, like I do, know that sometimes you hear the weirdest things that become positively surreal when you are half-awake and your brain wants you to fall back asleep. I swear, they save all the really weird crap for the morning shows.

This morning, I had a cleaning scheduled at the dentist (which, by the way, when one went without insurance for like three years, is a positive luxury; I'm not a fan of the poking and scraping, but having my mouth feel totally clean for the rest of the day is so worth it), so I woke myself up early when I've been staying up and sleeping in late for the past week. So add a layer of sleep deprivation to this little story and you'll get an idea of how utterly bizarre it was.

I woke up to some sort of guest or another on my radio station's morning show. I have no idea who it was; some local singer, I assume. I'd been awake for about five minutes or so - I set the radio to stay on for twenty because otherwise I'll never stay awake - when he launched into . . .

. . . a bluesy, jazzy version of the Grinch song. Sung with painfully flat notes due to an unsuccessful imitation of the singer in the special, mangled half-remembered lyrics, really long guitar riffs between verses as he tried to remember the next one, and a totally abrupt ending on a half-completed line ("You're a triple-decker sauerkraut sandwiiiiiich!") when his memory finally gave out.

It was horrible. I distinctly remember thinking, "The universe is telling me to stay in bed, isn't it?"