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Jan. 15th, 2007 07:36 pmSo today, I received an e-mail on my AIM account, which I never use and had forgotten I had, but good ol' Trillian made with the auto-notification. (NOTE: I do not recognize the sender's e-mail, and the name is one that unhelpfully belongs to several people I know, so if I'm mocking someone who has me friended - uh, sorry?)
Here is the text in its near-entirety, with the full name at the end stripped out tosave me from angry self-Googlers protect the random people I don't know who felt the need to tell me their full name.
Subject: Free Ugueth U Urbina NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2007 3:57 PM
This is a petition to try and convince the Venezuelan legal system to get off their asses and resolve the Urbina case as soon as possible, so that he can get back here and get back to playing baseball again. If you want the case resolved and Ugie out of jail ASAP, sign your name on this petition (which will also be posted in Myspace as a bulletin), and then pass it along to your friends to sign. Once there are enough names on the petition, it will somehow be sent to the Venezuelan legal system (probably through the Embassy in DC or something). Thank you very much for your participation.
SIGN HERE:
[name]
No, that is not a typo. Our intrepid petitioner provided no link. It's brilliant, really, because everyone knows that the one thing the Venezuelan government takes more seriously than an online petition is an online petition that does not appear to exist.
I am so baffled. Who is this person who somehow decided that I had an AIM e-mail and was correct? Why are the other sendees' addresses almost-but-not-quite familiar? Failing the embassy, is there an e-mail address we can use? Perhaps systemo_legalo@venezuela.gov? Why am I not making this joke three months from now, when I will have a good chunk of a semester of Spanish I under my belt and might know the words for "legal system?" Should I attempt to learn about the situation so I can discuss it intelligently, or just see how many stupid, quasi-humorous questions I can string together in this paragraph? And who the fuck wants Urbina back in the MLB after all this? Are the Yankees that desperate for relief pitching yet, or should we give them another year? Would Cashman be willing to keep Urbina happy by providing him with gasoline, machetes, and a restrained Jason Giambi every other Tuesday? Should we all chip in five bucks along with our imaginary signatures to make this happen?
I just don't know. If Urbina's still sitting in jail with no trial in sight, frightening legal system, sucks to be him, but then it also sucks to be the guy he TRIED TO KILL WITH A MACHETE. But I'm sure Ugie appreciates the thought.
Here is the text in its near-entirety, with the full name at the end stripped out to
Subject: Free Ugueth U Urbina NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2007 3:57 PM
This is a petition to try and convince the Venezuelan legal system to get off their asses and resolve the Urbina case as soon as possible, so that he can get back here and get back to playing baseball again. If you want the case resolved and Ugie out of jail ASAP, sign your name on this petition (which will also be posted in Myspace as a bulletin), and then pass it along to your friends to sign. Once there are enough names on the petition, it will somehow be sent to the Venezuelan legal system (probably through the Embassy in DC or something). Thank you very much for your participation.
SIGN HERE:
[name]
No, that is not a typo. Our intrepid petitioner provided no link. It's brilliant, really, because everyone knows that the one thing the Venezuelan government takes more seriously than an online petition is an online petition that does not appear to exist.
I am so baffled. Who is this person who somehow decided that I had an AIM e-mail and was correct? Why are the other sendees' addresses almost-but-not-quite familiar? Failing the embassy, is there an e-mail address we can use? Perhaps systemo_legalo@venezuela.gov? Why am I not making this joke three months from now, when I will have a good chunk of a semester of Spanish I under my belt and might know the words for "legal system?" Should I attempt to learn about the situation so I can discuss it intelligently, or just see how many stupid, quasi-humorous questions I can string together in this paragraph? And who the fuck wants Urbina back in the MLB after all this? Are the Yankees that desperate for relief pitching yet, or should we give them another year? Would Cashman be willing to keep Urbina happy by providing him with gasoline, machetes, and a restrained Jason Giambi every other Tuesday? Should we all chip in five bucks along with our imaginary signatures to make this happen?
I just don't know. If Urbina's still sitting in jail with no trial in sight, frightening legal system, sucks to be him, but then it also sucks to be the guy he TRIED TO KILL WITH A MACHETE. But I'm sure Ugie appreciates the thought.
