(no subject)

A couple minutes after I made that phone post, my coworker Chris, who was just coming in, spotted me sitting outside with my cigarette and made a beeline.

"Are you okay? I just heard."

"I guess. I mean, I saw it coming, but it's still hitting pretty hard."

"Man, I thought of you first."

That really sums it up, doesn't it? Sure, there was the drooping at register and attempting to function and scan and check IDs and make correct change through the cloud of misery in that first hour, and then the commiserating with fellow fans ("BASES LOADED AND NO OUTS." "I KNOW." "COULDN'T DO SHIT." "I KNOW."), and one guy giving me a fist knock over the Astros, but - a coworker coming right over for a conversation that sounds like someone died? That's what sums it up.

Oh, and that last out? In a weird coincidence that I swear you could only get in baseball? Edgar Rentería. He was the final out for the Cardinals last year to give us the championship, and the final out this year to end our hopes. Not sure there's any meaning there, but it seems appropriate.

(no subject)

Whoops, that means the Red Sox season is over, doesn't it? Might take me a few days to catch up with that. A couple stray thoughts I had lying in bed this morning:

"I have tomorrow off, I wonder what time the Red Sox are - oh."

"God, listen to it rain out there, I hope it's not raining in Boston - oh."

Offseason is fast approaching, make it stooooooop . . .

I expected my daily sports blog round to be pretty damn depressing today, and I did tear up quite a few times. Overall, though, it was surprisingly positive and hopeful, and I feel okay. I would especially like to point people to the entries at Cursed to First and Joy of Sox. Being a relative newcomer (and with the Red Sox, a mere two plus years of fandom means that I am still in metaphorical diapers), I don't have a whole lot of comparison for before 2004. Aaron Boone's homer is forever burned into my brain - I can see it as clearly now as I could when it happened - but that's just one year. I don't have this history of a series of crushing blows and misery, which makes my perspective on this year a little different. I mean, like I said, we didn't have the pitching, I saw this coming, we got as far as I expected us to get and no further, and it still sucks. I don't feel this morning the way I felt when I woke up angry two years ago, but nor do I feel the sense of relief that the lifelong fans feel, the lack of that heavy burden that last year took off their shoulders. Simply by virtue of timing, I guess I'm a different breed of Red Sox fan. I arrived early enough to have a solid idea of how things were Before, but most of my knowledge now and what I'll gain through the years is of After, of the team that is not cursed. I won't ever really know what it's like to sit and wait for the other shoe to drop, and still be hurt and shocked when it hits me right in the head. I feel vaguely insecure because of that sometimes, like I'm somehow a bandwagoner because I haven't put in the years of misery, even though no bandwagoner would stick around after Aaron Boone, even though I'm a Sox fan year round and not just in October. I know that's stupid, and I'm just as devoted as my dad, and when I look forward I can't see a future without the Red Sox in it, but - being a member of Red Sox Nation is weird and tricky sometimes and I won't feel truly settled in until the ink has dried on my certificate of citizenship.

Okay, I didn't mean that to turn into a rambling lecture, but these things happen.

Anyway. I'm not quite done here yet, I've still got one more team standing. And tonight Roy Oswalt, he of the two consecutive twenty win seasons, is starting for them (and yes, I know I've said how stupid the Win statistic is, and I mean it, but "two consecutive twenty win seasons" sounds cool and important, and frankly a twenty win season with this year's offense is pretty damn impressive). Gooooo Astros!

(no subject)

Reasons Why Phil Garner And I Would Get Along, Part II:

"He's much more low-key," Garner said of Oswalt. "If he had blood on his sock, you'd never know it. He'd cover it up."

HAHAHAHA. Oh, c'mon. That's funny. Plus, he went on to say, "Schilling feeds on notoriety and great pitchers do. There are also great pitchers who are very low-key. That's the way Roy is. Schilling thrives off the moment, the notoriety, the attention. Roy just shies away from it. That's all," so it's all good.