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Feb. 7th, 2005 01:36 pmYay lamest Super Bowl evar!!
Seriously. I know zip about football, so when even I am screaming "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" at the television - more than once - you know things aren't going so well. Not a single person in the room was impressed. And at one point we were all pretty sure that the ball was in the possession of the Yankees. (Why the Yankees? Why not? The Pats and the Eagles didn't seem too interested in it.)
Amanda and I did watch a bit of the preshow (The BestDamn Darn Sports Show Period preshow, to be exact, at like one), and then we watched a bit more when the previews promised us, of all frigging people, Derek Jeter, because we just had to find out what the fuck Derek Jeter has to do with a Superbowl between Philly and BOSTON.
As it turned out: they did a little feature on the history of the Super Bowl wherein a bunch of celebrities each read a couplet about each previous Super Bowl. (It was cuter than it sounds, I swear.) Jeter's appearance was in this feature, reading the couplet for the second Super Bowl. And he was wearing this white beret that - okay, I am strongly against homophobic language, but there are situations where only one adjective will do, so: it was faggiest goddamned beret in the history of anything ever. So Amanda and I were shouting at him about it, and we missed his reading entirely. This is a shame, because at the end he WINKED at the cameraand it was kind of hot, and maybe if we had been quiet, we would know why. On the other hand, that might have spoiled the ensuing hysterical laughter, so maybe it's just as well.
So not only was this endlessly entertaining for the rest of the day (and we really wish we'd gotten it on tape), but we added it to the above conclusion about the Yankees having the ball. We decided that Jeter, beret and all, was going to tunnel up out of the ground (Amanda's mom's idea), through the enormous pile of players and referees that was wiggling around at the time, grab the ball, and run for a touchdown, and it would be the first Super Bowl in history where three teams scored.
In other news, Amanda and I mostly watched movies.
* Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. This - okay. If you liked Dude, Where's My Car?, you will like this movie. (Sadly, Harold and Kumar never make out, but I digress.) And if you have not seen Dude, Where's My Car? because you think you are not the sort of person who would like it, you are wrong. I thought I would hate DWMY but I ended up really enjoying it, because, in spite of the presence of Ashton Kutcher, it is not the kind of movie I'm sure you think it is. Well, it is, except that it's actually funny. So go rent that, and then rent Harold and Kumar. It's the same breed of movie - specifically, the "wait, I thought this was going to be a totally formulaic lowbrow comedy! WTF happened?" genre. I want to watch both of them again just talking about them.
* Have you ever wondered what happened to Pauly Shore? I mean, dude just kind of dropped off the face of the earth. I admit, I've wondered occasionally myself. Well, Amanda and I can now definitively answer that question: What happened to Pauly Shore is that he went out and made a hypnotically awful movie about what happened to Pauly Shore. It is called Pauly Shore Is Dead. The back of the box will lie to you - it makes it sound like a documentary, or at least a pseudo-documentary, but it's really just about as clever a movie as one might expect from Pauly Shore. Too bad, too, because the premise - Pauly fakes his own suicide in 1997 and the world basically deifies him like any other celebrity who ever died young - is awesome, but the movie totally ruins it.
Then yesterday we were smart and decided to watch Still, We Believe: The Boston Red Sox Movie, which is a documentary about the 2003 season from a few fans' perspectives.
And you know what? Knowing what was coming in 2004 did not make the ending of 2003 suck any less. It was almost as depressing as the first time I saw it, which was even more depressing for me than when it actually happened. So then, to cheer ourselves up and get into Super Bowl Mode, we watched Faith Rewarded, which is NESN's take on 2004. It helped a LOT. Also, it caused Amanda to spend the entire Super Bowl relating everything to baseball, which was hilarious (and for me, occasionally helpful).
And, go Pats! Even if the game itself was fairly useless, the outcome was highly favorable, and the Eagles were nice enough to at least inject a little suspense into the last couple of minutes of the game. But really, in the end I'm about anything that extends this era of amazingness that Boston seems to have found itself in.
I can't wait for baseball to start. Pitchers and catchers report in less than a week, and spring training games start in less than a month, and then the season proper starts in less than two months. I might just survive.
Seriously. I know zip about football, so when even I am screaming "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" at the television - more than once - you know things aren't going so well. Not a single person in the room was impressed. And at one point we were all pretty sure that the ball was in the possession of the Yankees. (Why the Yankees? Why not? The Pats and the Eagles didn't seem too interested in it.)
Amanda and I did watch a bit of the preshow (The Best
As it turned out: they did a little feature on the history of the Super Bowl wherein a bunch of celebrities each read a couplet about each previous Super Bowl. (It was cuter than it sounds, I swear.) Jeter's appearance was in this feature, reading the couplet for the second Super Bowl. And he was wearing this white beret that - okay, I am strongly against homophobic language, but there are situations where only one adjective will do, so: it was faggiest goddamned beret in the history of anything ever. So Amanda and I were shouting at him about it, and we missed his reading entirely. This is a shame, because at the end he WINKED at the camera
So not only was this endlessly entertaining for the rest of the day (and we really wish we'd gotten it on tape), but we added it to the above conclusion about the Yankees having the ball. We decided that Jeter, beret and all, was going to tunnel up out of the ground (Amanda's mom's idea), through the enormous pile of players and referees that was wiggling around at the time, grab the ball, and run for a touchdown, and it would be the first Super Bowl in history where three teams scored.
In other news, Amanda and I mostly watched movies.
* Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. This - okay. If you liked Dude, Where's My Car?, you will like this movie. (Sadly, Harold and Kumar never make out, but I digress.) And if you have not seen Dude, Where's My Car? because you think you are not the sort of person who would like it, you are wrong. I thought I would hate DWMY but I ended up really enjoying it, because, in spite of the presence of Ashton Kutcher, it is not the kind of movie I'm sure you think it is. Well, it is, except that it's actually funny. So go rent that, and then rent Harold and Kumar. It's the same breed of movie - specifically, the "wait, I thought this was going to be a totally formulaic lowbrow comedy! WTF happened?" genre. I want to watch both of them again just talking about them.
* Have you ever wondered what happened to Pauly Shore? I mean, dude just kind of dropped off the face of the earth. I admit, I've wondered occasionally myself. Well, Amanda and I can now definitively answer that question: What happened to Pauly Shore is that he went out and made a hypnotically awful movie about what happened to Pauly Shore. It is called Pauly Shore Is Dead. The back of the box will lie to you - it makes it sound like a documentary, or at least a pseudo-documentary, but it's really just about as clever a movie as one might expect from Pauly Shore. Too bad, too, because the premise - Pauly fakes his own suicide in 1997 and the world basically deifies him like any other celebrity who ever died young - is awesome, but the movie totally ruins it.
Then yesterday we were smart and decided to watch Still, We Believe: The Boston Red Sox Movie, which is a documentary about the 2003 season from a few fans' perspectives.
And you know what? Knowing what was coming in 2004 did not make the ending of 2003 suck any less. It was almost as depressing as the first time I saw it, which was even more depressing for me than when it actually happened. So then, to cheer ourselves up and get into Super Bowl Mode, we watched Faith Rewarded, which is NESN's take on 2004. It helped a LOT. Also, it caused Amanda to spend the entire Super Bowl relating everything to baseball, which was hilarious (and for me, occasionally helpful).
And, go Pats! Even if the game itself was fairly useless, the outcome was highly favorable, and the Eagles were nice enough to at least inject a little suspense into the last couple of minutes of the game. But really, in the end I'm about anything that extends this era of amazingness that Boston seems to have found itself in.
I can't wait for baseball to start. Pitchers and catchers report in less than a week, and spring training games start in less than a month, and then the season proper starts in less than two months. I might just survive.
