Cathryn (formerly catslash) (
remindmeofthe) wrote2010-04-24 09:04 am
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So I tried going off the Ambien last night; as I expected, I didn't sleep.
There was a difference, though, between this night and the other nights - I wasn't stressing out. I am pretty much at the point where I have accepted that this is how my life is going to be for a while, so I wasn't wound up about it like I have been before. And I still couldn't sleep. Every time I got close to falling asleep, I just resurfaced. It was an actual physical sensation; the whole experience together reminded me of bubbles in a glass of soda. This problem has been cropping up all along, I think, or at least after the first week or two. It happened last weekend at least once; toward morning I got relaxed and drowsy and still couldn't sleep. Benadryl stopped working, if it ever had more than a placebo effect in the first place, because I couldn't get my brain to join in on the sleepiness.
Clearly my problem is no longer a matter of just calming myself down. I'm going back on the Ambien tonight, without too much compunction, because if I need the help, I need the help. I have a follow-up appointment at the student health center with Ann on Monday (Ann being the nurse practitioner I've been seeing; as it looks now as though she's going to be a part of my life for a while yet, I may as well give her a name), so I can talk to her about it then.
My major problem right this second is that it is now nine AM and I have an entire day to get through before I can Ambien up and go back to bed. At least it's a day with Doctor Who in it.
Also: could I use a few more semi-colons in this post?
There was a difference, though, between this night and the other nights - I wasn't stressing out. I am pretty much at the point where I have accepted that this is how my life is going to be for a while, so I wasn't wound up about it like I have been before. And I still couldn't sleep. Every time I got close to falling asleep, I just resurfaced. It was an actual physical sensation; the whole experience together reminded me of bubbles in a glass of soda. This problem has been cropping up all along, I think, or at least after the first week or two. It happened last weekend at least once; toward morning I got relaxed and drowsy and still couldn't sleep. Benadryl stopped working, if it ever had more than a placebo effect in the first place, because I couldn't get my brain to join in on the sleepiness.
Clearly my problem is no longer a matter of just calming myself down. I'm going back on the Ambien tonight, without too much compunction, because if I need the help, I need the help. I have a follow-up appointment at the student health center with Ann on Monday (Ann being the nurse practitioner I've been seeing; as it looks now as though she's going to be a part of my life for a while yet, I may as well give her a name), so I can talk to her about it then.
My major problem right this second is that it is now nine AM and I have an entire day to get through before I can Ambien up and go back to bed. At least it's a day with Doctor Who in it.
Also: could I use a few more semi-colons in this post?
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**HUGS**
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I've used this trick a couple of times. It doesn't seem to help unfortunately, at least not this go-round. Sometimes the physical act of getting out of bed and getting my body going again makes it worse, which is totally unfair.
Thanks so much for all your comments and advice; it has at least been a comfort to know I've got support from people. *hugs*
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It sucks that you can't even break up the lying around with something – I can see how you've been getting wound up not sleeping, if all you can do is lie there not sleeping and worrying that you're not sleeping. I keep my iPod under the pillow packed with audiobooks so that I can at least listen to something, and like you say you've not gotten out of bed to do it or made yourself physically active again. Trouble is I keep falling asleep later with it still on! Oops.
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Right now, you're sick. You're going to get better. It's just taking a little longer than we hoped it might. *hugs you lots and lots*
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*hugs* Thanks, Viv, you're awesome.
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And I hear you about that description of resurfacing from sleepiness; that's exactly what happens to me when I can't sleep. (Of course in my case it's not usually chronic.)