remindmeofthe | (no subject)

You know one thing that I really have fun with in regards to Supernatural? It crosses over with almost anything. Seriously. As long as the other work in question is non-fantastical (or has rules that are similar to SPN's; crossovers with Buffy, for example, make my head ache because the shows' demons and vamps are way too different to mesh) and the timeline works out. And, fuck it, even if it doesn't, you can always throw in a convenient transdimensional vortex or whatever.

Some of the crossovers I've come up with have worked, to the point where there is unfinished fic littering my harddrive, and some of them are too cracky or convoluted to do anything but amuse me tremendously. Plus, you know, some of them I've forgotten. But I shall now share with you the ones I can remember. If I have fic for it, I'll throw in a snippet; if I don't, I'll write a snippet! Then at the bottom, there will be a bonus, non-SPN, totally cracktastic opening-sentence-snippet that probably isn't as funny as I think it is, but I need to get it out of my brain!

* Supernatural/Dead and Breakfast

Dead and Breakfast is a 2004 horror comedy involving gallons and gallons of fake blood, and also line-dancing zombies. It is notable primarily for having Jeffrey Dean Morgan in it as the inconsistently written Sheriff of Lovelock (is he a typical pain-in-the-ass movie sheriff who exists only to create tension until the plot kicks in? Or is he an earnest if not overly bright law official intent on protecting his town? Can one character embody two clichés in the same movie? Apparently, he can!).

This is a crossover that can work because DaB's canon is so relentlessly silly and nonsensical that if any of it happens to contradict SPN, it just doesn't really matter. I mean. I mentioned the line-dancing zombies, right? Plus, this fic is technically AU for DaB anyway, since I had to unkill a character for it.

Here is a snippet, which I expect precisely one of you will be interested in, and yes, CJ, it is still on the "WIP" list, I swear:

He stared after her for a while, troubled, then picked up the phone.

"Lovelock Hall a Records, open nine to five every day, how can I help you, friend?"

"Melindy, it's me. Lacey Williams was just in. Bill's disappeared."

Silence for a moment. "That's five."

"Yeah. Melindy, this is gettin' bad. This ain't normal. We can't fix this on our own."

"What else are we s'posed to do, Buford? The FBI as good as told us to take a number, and I done scoured the Records. There's nothin' like this on file before."

"I don't know, Melindy, but we gotta start figurin' out where to go with this. I don't think we're gonna end up with a convenient drifter on this one."

He heard the door open, and looked up, prayin' to God that it was Lacey come back to tell him that she remembered now, Bill was outta town looking for a job, or anything that would make the cold lump in his gut thaw away.

Instead, it was two strangers. Faces he'd never seen before. The lump got icier. The last time he'd laid eyes on strange faces, he'd ended up losing three-quarters of his town.

"Melindy," he said, eyes on them as they stared at him, "lemme call you back." He hung up by feel, not looking away from them for even a second.

* Supernatural/Dexter

One show is about a serial killer who hunts other serial killers. The other show is about hunters who hunt serial killing monsters. It's almost inevitable that they'd get their wires crossed.

I've started a fic for this, but it'll need some reworking, or possibly just to be scrapped and restarted, if I'm going to get it done. Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for the part where I just haven't done my research yet.

"Oh, this guy is really starting to piss me off." Dean glared out the windshield. "How are we supposed to get rid of this thing with someone watching over our shoulders?"

"I still think we should talk to him."

"No, Sam -"

"Dean, he might be a hunter," Sam persisted. "What if we've been screwing each other up for three nights in a row because nobody's willing to talk?"

"I don't really give a shit what he is anymore," Dean said flatly. "I'm done with him being our problem."

"Dean." Sam had hold of his shoulder before he could really make a move to get out of the car. "If he even thinks we're going after him, there's gonna be trouble, it's gonna spook the ___, and it's gonna take off. We either talk to him or wait it out." He had that look on his face that made Dean wonder who Sam thought the big brother really was, all counseling patience with just a touch of patronizing sternness. Dean hated that damn look, mostly because it had a habit of showing up when Sam was right.

"Fine. Let's go talk to him. All nice and friendlylike." He flashed his brother a hard smile and pushed the Impala's door open.

* Supernatural/Grey's Anatomy

So, yeah, plenty of people have had a go at the "Denny Duquette and John Winchester are one and the same" idea. Which, as ideas go, is lovely in a fanciful sort of way, but breaks down the second you try to imagine John running around hunting with Denny's heart condition.

And I really had no intention of trying my hand at this crossover, but there was a bit that caught my attention when Denny was going into surgery to get his buying-time doohickey installed, where he promised Izzie that, if he saw a white light, he would "stay the hell away."

And I thought, what if he really did?

Annoyingly, GA does, in fact, have established canon about the afterlife - or least Denny's afterlife - and I didn't see the episode until I'd already started writing my fic. So, either it's an AU for GA, or you thought GA's version was as stupid as I did and don't give a shit either way. Your call.

Sam nodded. "George told me about Izzie. She sounds great."

Denny's expression softened into a smile, his eyes shining. "She is. She's the best."

"She really loves you, Denny. Do you think she'd want you to be stuck here?"

"I haven't seen her. She hasn't been here since she found me. I've been trying to get someone's attention so they can tell her I'm here, but - the thing about heart patients is that you really can scare them to death. So I have to be careful." He sighed. "I thought for sure when George came in that he'd understand. But she still isn't here."

"She has a life to live. You need to move on, Denny, and she does too."

"I know. I just want her to know that I'm here. I promised." Denny spoke in a near-whisper, and there it was, the static, circular confusion of a lost spirit. Denny's death had been recent enough that his personality was still intact, that much was clear, but he was still stuck, like any other spirit, caught in the obsession that had made him stay behind. There was no way of knowing how long it would take for him to stop truly being Denny and become overwhelmed by the nature of his unstable existence, but Sam wasn't planning on finding out.

* Supernatural/Real Person Fic

Specifically, a fic in which Jeffrey Dean Morgan finds himself in the SPN verse for various elaborate plot purposes that I actually managed to figure out AND make them make sense. This is a fic, sort of, in the sense that I jot down bits of it every now and then. I've got the plot hammered out, but it's so much more ambitious than my usual stuff - by which I mean "it has a plot" - that I'm intimidated by it. We'll see if I can pull it together into fic proper.

Jeff taps the last cigarette out of the pack into his hand, and wonders vaguely if he can get Singer to run him out to the nearest convenience store tomorrow for a fresh supply. He'd borrow Singer's truck and go himself, but his wallet is empty of cash now and he doubts that his credit cards are good here, and maybe it's a moot point anyway because the lighter is shaking so badly he can't get the cigarette lit. "Fuck," he whispers, then, so small he can barely hear himself, because only crazy people talk like this and he isn't crazy, he isn't, this is all too real for him to be crazy - "Leave me alone."

The door opens and Jeff tenses, readying himself to explain to a Winchester boy why their father's voice came out of his mouth like a bullet, but it's Singer who sits down next to him.

"How's the head?"

"The same." Jeff's voice is tired and hoarse, but his, not John's, his. He stares at his lighter, feeling Singer looking at him, sizing him up.

They sit for a couple of minutes in silence. Jeff puts the cigarette back into its box, slips the pack into his pocket.

Singer says, "You're not alone in there, are you?"

Jeff looks up, eyes widening, heart thunking hard once because Singer doesn't look at all surprised, or upset, or like someone carefully indulging an insane person while he figures out what to do next. Relief and fear explode in him at once, and he can finally say it out loud.

"I don't think I am."

* Supernatural/Xena-Hercuverse

I never could figure out a way to indicate a crossover with a universe that had two shows in it. Anyway, this one's purely in my brain. No fic. I thought initially that there might be fic, but it turned out just to be that thing where one section of the fic is vivid in your mind and the rest of it doesn't exist.

I was watching the episode of Hercules that ends with Herc sending Callisto into a sort of space between universes. It's the one where Callisto has adopted fire as her goddess-y signature, and incidentally it also deals with the fact that her family were killed when she was young when Xena raided her village and set it ablaze. I immediately thought, "Who else do I know whose family was torn apart by fire and who promptly devoted his life to tracking down and taking revenge of the cause of that fire? . . . Oh, man. Oh, man. John Winchester and Callisto. Sharing the same space. Would they ever do a number on each other!" I mean! Callisto is more or less what John would have become if he weren't so fiercely moral. I'm going to stop there before I write an essay comparing the two.

Instead, have a random snippet wherein John has encountered a Plot Device that sent him into that space between worlds. Callisto has told him about her tragic past (because all you have to do for THAT to happen is stand still within her range of sight for thirty seconds) and John, jolted by recognition, has told her about Mary. He has also, because he is not blind, gotten the distinct impression that Callisto is to be handled very carefully indeed. For SPN, this takes place shortly before the start of the series.

John had barely sat down before Callisto arranged herself on the ground at his feet, in small, graceful movements that made it look utterly natural. She laid her head on his knee for a second or two, then twisted it around to look up at him. The gesture was, in spite of her skimpy attire, childlike rather than sexual; he looked at her wide brown eyes and the curve of her cheek and saw for the first time how young she was. Not even Sam's age.

It didn't make her any less dangerous, he knew, or any more stable, but he still touched her hair and said softly,

"I'm sorry."

She smiled and closed her eyes, leaning into the touch. "If anyone else said that to me, I would tear out his throat. But you understand. You don't pity me. You wouldn't stand for that. You're just sorry that anyone else should feel the pain you feel. You would keep it all to yourself if you could." She opened her eyes, still smiling. "I like you, John Winchester."

* Supernatural/Torchwood (spoilers from "Reset" on)

Not a fic. Would be too complicated. But come ON. Owen was POSSESSED and now he's a ZOMBIE. Not like the SPN zombies, but with TW, there are myriad possibilities. Oh, and as of this writing, I have not yet seen "Day in the Death," just in case that turns out to be important.

"Dean Winchester?"

Dean blinked himself awake, wondering why the call at this ungodly hour was coming from someone who was not Bobby. Someone who was a stranger. A stranger who had his number and knew his name. Dean finished waking up in a hurry as the facts filtered into his consciousness.

"Who the hell is this?"

"Captain Jack Harkness. Sorry about the late call. It's the time difference."

"Uh-huh." Dean's voice was rusty from sleep, but he still managed the "explain or die" tone pretty well, he thought.

"I worked with your father about ten years ago." Pause. "I was sorry to hear of his death. He was a good man. Anyway, I have a situation that I'm starting to think is more Winchester than Torchwood."

Dean sat up and turned on the light. "I'm listening."

"One of my employees died last week. He's still up and walking around. He's one hundred percent human, he's not possessed anymore -"

"Anymore?" Dean demanded, but Harkness kept talking.

"He's just - still here. Our facilities are substantially beyond those of even the most up-to-date medical equipment, and we can't figure it out. I need a different kind of expert, and from what I hear, I couldn't do better than to bring you and Sam in to take a look."

* I refuse to introduce this one because it will ruin the already feeble joke. And because if I have to tell you the crossover, you're not really going to get the joke anyway.

Anton Chigurh was never the same after the encounter with Jack Harkness.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"The last time he'd laid eyes on strange faces, he'd ended up losing three-quarters of his town."

OH BUFORD! Oh Cathryn! Oh boys! Two handy drifters. And the boys are going to be so freaked out. And I can hear the voices of the Lovelock folk. This rocks so hard. I do hope you get a chance to finish this fic over the next year or so.

Thank you for the taste.

oops, Freudian slip on the name

Edited 2008-02-29 18:18 (UTC)

Glad you like! I just need to get motivated to watch my copy of DaB to get the characters back into my head, and get myself straightened out on what supernatural canon they do have.

ALSO TRUE STORY.

I was ruminating today at work on a last name for our Sheriff, and I thought, "Maybe I should make it Ford. That would be mildly amusing, in a 'Bill Williams' sort of way."

My thought process was interrupted by the phone ringing. I took a long, complicated order which was capped off by the customer telling me,

"And the name on that is Ford."

Is that a flashing neon sign or what? Buford Ford it is. His last name will pretty much never come up aside from the initial introduction, so it'll mostly be a silly throwaway bit anyway.

(here via disanddat)

OHH! DaB FIC!!!!!
*throws a red carpet for your feet*

I seriously love all of these scenarios (Jack Harkness working with John Winchester....YES!).
Thanks for sharing, and I'll be happy to cheer you on on any of those!

:D

Thanks! :D

(Jack Harkness working with John Winchester....YES!)

Oh, man, I know. Such fundamental similarity, yet so many differences. And John not so flexible when it comes to personality clashes. I wonder how long it would take for him to learn firsthand that Jack can't die. *g*

AHHHHHH! Not very long, I suspect! LOLOLOL

And how long it would take for John to learn that Jack swings both ways? *G*

That would depend on whether there was a formal introduction right away. If they first encountered each other, like, mid-fight-against-bad-thing, it would take longer. But you know that as soon as Jack got a clear look at John, he would be pulling out the flirty smile all, "Captain Jack Harkness. I don't think I caught your name."

And John would just be like, ". . . Winchester," because a fellow hunter flirting with him is really the last thing he needs on a hunt, so Jack would naturally turn up the charm a notch, which is probably the fastest way to get on John's nerves, but if this is post-fight here (presumably post-unsuccessful-fight or there wouldn't be much of a story) then he's already seen what Jack can do. So he'll suck it up as best he can for the time being because it's clear that this thing is too much for one hunter and the hunt comes first.

...you ARE writing this, yes? Pretty please? With naked John and Jack on top? Please?

And Jack is ruthless enough to suit John's methods, and equally daredevilish, I believe. They would have loud angry screaming sessions *nods* and then manly grunts of peace-making.

I am totally not writing this, I already have too many unfinished fics floating around, I refuse. *brandishes stick threateningly at plot bunny* *plot bunny looks unimpressed* *sighs*

John would constantly be "RAR" before he eventually got used to Jack, because the dichotomy of Jack's personality would drive him crazy - one minute the efficient hunter that John ~~admires~~ respects like no other, the next totally flippant and relaxed. There would be at LEAST one argument on the theme of "are you even taking this seriously?!" which would involve John getting angrier and angrier and Jack enjoying himself more and more until John lashed out with just the right barb about Jack treating this like a game at the expense of innocent lives. Then Jack would get all cold and deliver one of his Jack lectures and they would sit and glare at each other until Jack asked if make-up sex might be on the itinerary, at which point John would explode and go drive around in the Impala until ~~his pants loosened up~~ he was pretty sure that Jack was no longer in immediate danger from him. And when he got back Jack would be acting like nothing untoward had happened, which would allow John to do the same, and all would be peaceful until Jack got on his nerves again.

...*feeds your plot bunny the juicest carrots ever*

But but.. you have it! THERE! You have it perfectly! *pets your plot bunny* the dynamics between them, totally IC!

And, LOL at John driving away until he can be safe for company, and Jack all pacific and smiley *G*

Oh, please. PLEASE?

I dunno, I'll have to let it percolate a while longer before I figure out if there's any real meat to it. Sometimes I get vivid pieces of fic, but the whole thing never comes together.

I also like the idea of Jack being, like, the only hunter ever that John can't infuriate into chasing him off. John does his best to push people away and he is so good at it, but Jack wouldn't let him. He sees right through that sort of thing. He's quite uniquely suited to handle John's boatload of issues, and John's not used to people who know how to deal with him.

And of course in the background there's all this plot going on. I'd have it be supernatural and not aliens, because by now Jack would know at least something about supernatural stuff and because introducing aliens to John would mess with him too much. Best to keep things relatively simple for him. Though that would raise, so to speak, the question of how Jack would explain his not-dying thing, since no hunter worth his salt would buy, "Oh, it wasn't as bad as it looked."