remindmeofthe | (no subject)

I really thought that the passage of time would help me accept the fact that I am going to have to root for Gary Sheffield this year.

STILL DO NOT WANT AAHHHHHHH

Let me share with you my top five list of hated baseball players, okay? IN THIS ORDER.

1. Aaron Boone. Because duh.
2. Albert Pujols. Bite me so hard for Game Five of the '05 NLCS, bitch. Too bad your team sucked ~~though not as much as last year ogodwhy~~. I so enjoy the revelations that he is a total dick.
3. Alex Rodriguez. I know, I know, those of you who've known me for a couple years expect him to be higher. But unlike the two above, his obnoxious behavior really makes me laugh more than it pisses me off, so slot three it is.
4. GARY FUCKING SHEFFIELD AAAAAAH. He is an asshole with no class and no respect and I HATE THE CRAZY BAT. HATEHATEHATE. He is also creepy. He looks like a guy who would hit a woman, which I know is a tired and potentially wanky simile, but please. Look at that smirk and tell me it's not true. It may just be unfortunate physical characteristics, but I don't care. Hate.
5. Barry Bonds. Because it's kind of required to hate Barry Bonds at this point.

And really, I would actually prefer to have A-Rod end up on one of my teams. At least he doesn't actively give me the creeps.

So you can understand why I am still having a problem with this so long after the fact. Hey, Sheff, if you could bat .320 and hit forty homers and at least justify making my skin crawl every time I have to watch you bat, that would be real swell.

Also, I am going to start trying to post something every day. I have been neglecting my journal most appallingly and I've got to get back in the habit of posting.

Also, DO NOT WANT AAAAAAAHHHHHH

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dude, agreed on Sheffield. I am still definitely ignoring the fact that he is on the team, because I really don't want to think about it.

And I get the same vibes from him. It's that simmering undercurrent of violence, you know, like he's always about to explode on the field and destroy some poor middle reliever's skull with his bat. That's Sheffield. So I dunno what the "wanky" bit means (?), but I get what you're sayin' there.

SIGH. WHY.

-Sam

"Wanky" means that it's pretty easy to take a comparison like that and turn into a stupid douchebag about it. Have you heard of fandom_wank (http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank)? Make a comparison like that in the wrong place and you can have a wankfest on your hands pretty quick, as people crawl out of the woodwork to elaborate on it while others write insanely long replies about how comparing a ballplayer to a woman batterer just 'cause you don't like his face makes you JUST LIKE HITLER, and before you know it, the folks at f_w are laughing at you. Especially if you wade into the whole mess to defend yourself by slinging insults. And you get double wanker points if you show up at f_w to defend yourself. And that is what I mean by wanky - the potential of a remark to start a big stupid mess.

I figured I'd be pretty safe here, though. By and large, I do not befriend wanky people, and I myself don't have enough of an attention span to wank for very long.

And yes, I would rather go on in a tl;dr (too long; didn't read - another f_w special) manner about internet wank than talk about Sheffield. I was indignant last year about Kenny Rogers ("Oh, suuuure, of course we get stuck with the guy who's basically OSTRACIZED in DECENT SOCIETY.") but I happily made the turnaround (omglove) when he proved an asset. I just can't see that happening with Crazy Bat. I hate him too much and he gives me the wicked creeps. .320 with forty homers would not make him beloved, it would make him a necessary evil.

Cool, I'm gettin' me a education in the internets! :) See, I just knew "wank" as the Brit-term for jackin' off. I suppose etymologically this newfangled usage kind of makes sense, if you think about it.

Yeah, see, with Kenny... I wasn't keen on him after the cameraman incident. He seemed a little unbalanced and like a hot-tempered asshole, but I didn't really HATE him, because really, it's tough for me to get too worked-up over ANYONE in the AL West (unless it's someone who actively tries to make us hate his whiny ass: see Byrnes, Eric). But the Yankees, ah, there's a team where a truly beautiful festering hatred can be nurtured into full bloom.

Ugh. You just know that if for some reason we have a down year this season, he's gonna turn into the biggest bitching, whining, anti-team bastard imagineable.

(Sam again)

Possibly even worse than Mr I'm A WINNAR Rodriguez in 2005. Which is hard to imagine, but I have faith that Sheffield could pull it off.

Sigh. At least he's happy to be working with Leyland and Co again. And if anyone can handle a Gary Sheffield, it's Jim Leyland. (I like to imagine, during Leyland's time dealing with Barry Bonds, a scene with him just staring at Bonds with a Marlboro in his mouth, and Bonds just shrinking smaller and smaller until he finally breaks the silence with, "OKAY I'LL DO IT.")

Albert Pujols. Bite me so hard for Game Five of the '05 NLCS, bitch. Too bad your team sucked ~~though not as much as last year ogodwhy~~. I so enjoy the revelations that he is a total dick.

I could not agree with you more. COULD NOT. Especially about the '05 NLCS HR. I saw some interview the following spring about that and he seemed to be proud of the fact that because of him, Brad Lidge was never quite the same afterwards. That's when I really started to hate him. I love seeing Deadbird fans squirm about his being taken to task in the press.

*sigh* I wish Aaron Boone had never been traded to the Yankees; he wouldn't be hated by millions of New Englanders. That was a hard time for me. Stupid Reds and their '03 fire sale.

I don't blame you about the Sheffield thing at all. Remember Albert Belle? *shudders*