Okay, I'm going to sound dreadful for saying this, but I'm glad I didn't beta this in the end.
Because if I'd beta'd it, I'd have been too hung up on looking for things to complain about to enjoy the first reading. And if I'd done a read-through first, I would have enjoyed it too much to find anything that *had* been there.
I was genuinely shocked that it was Gray. I had been thinking "who the hell could this be?" but for some reason (aniseed, perhaps) I simply didn't guess that it was him.
having Gray insinuate himself into Owen's life before killing him so he could show Jack how close he was all that time
It was fucking creepy. I had no, no idea that Michael/Gray was going to pull a knife on him, none at all, and it made me freak. I'm also really digging your characterisation of Martha, the detatchment she feels from her emotions while knowing what they're supposed to be, it feels very ... real. :)
PS: Did you know that Owen Harper is named after Graham Harper, one of the episode directors on Dr. Who? I literally only just found out this morning.
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Because if I'd beta'd it, I'd have been too hung up on looking for things to complain about to enjoy the first reading. And if I'd done a read-through first, I would have enjoyed it too much to find anything that *had* been there.
I was genuinely shocked that it was Gray. I had been thinking "who the hell could this be?" but for some reason (aniseed, perhaps) I simply didn't guess that it was him.
having Gray insinuate himself into Owen's life before killing him so he could show Jack how close he was all that time
It was fucking creepy. I had no, no idea that Michael/Gray was going to pull a knife on him, none at all, and it made me freak. I'm also really digging your characterisation of Martha, the detatchment she feels from her emotions while knowing what they're supposed to be, it feels very ... real. :)
PS: Did you know that Owen Harper is named after Graham Harper, one of the episode directors on Dr. Who? I literally only just found out this morning.