(no subject)

KENNY ROGERS WHAT.

Oh god, this season is going to be a disaster in Detroit, I can feel it already. WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS IN THE CLUBHOUSE LET'S ADD KENNY ROGERS YAY.

How do they expect me to root for Kenny Rogers?! The guy is an asshole! Look at him! He even LOOKS like an asshole!

Oh my god, this sucks.

Speaking of sucks, let's trade our top prospect who is a shortstop because we just signed a guy to a four year deal and our prospect will never get anywhere! And then! LET'S TRADE THAT GUY! Hanley Ramírez must be PISSED right now. Who the fuck is our shortstop?!? IS THERE A FUCKING PLAN HERE THAT I MISSED?! OH MY GOD THEO WE'RE SORRY WE DIDN'T DO IT AND WE LOVE YOU PLEASE COME BACK.

And I have still not processed the Mirabelli trade. The idea of Doug Mirabelli not being a Red Sock does not even register in my brain as something that is possible. It's like announcing that the color blue will now be called green. It does not work.

So now we need a shortstop and a backup catcher and oh yeah we still don't have a first baseman and oops my brain just exploded.

But at least the Astros didn't offer Clemens arbitration. Heh heh heh. Sorry, Roger, you don't get to jerk us around this year. Also, Orlando Palmeiro re-signed for two years. So at least one of my teams isn't trying to cause me massive organ failure.

(no subject)

Oh and because I wasn't pissed off enough, Mike Myers signed with the Yankees. FUCK YOU MYERS. I HOPE YOU AND FARNSWORTH ARE VERY HAPPY BEING TRAITOROUS ASSHOLES TOGETHER.

Edited because after reflection, leftover Chinese food, and Neopets, I will concede that I am not really that angry at Myers since the Red Sox didn't offer him arbitration. I was just on such an anger roll that it was hard to stop.

(no subject)

Stupid Call of the Green Monster making me cry.

"I kept getting on the wrong bus," a confused Rentería said.  "I must have made 30 mistakes. Maybe my eyesight is the problem."

"Bus says 'Leaving Boston,' dude, clear as day—and that's what you're doing," Millar said.  “You always looked lost here."  He looked up.  "Hey, 'Belli!  And Billy Mueller!"

I'm gonna miss these guys. And now my glasses have tear spots on them.